My Family

My Family

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If...

Question of the day:
(from If...Questions for the Game of Life)

IF you could ensure that your child has one experience that you have had yourself, what would you want it to be?

I know my husband's answer to this would be to have our child(ren) travel outside of the USA.
We have discussed the important changes that such travel can inflict...oh, I mean, instill, upon the travelee.
My international travel consists of one week in Mexico with my Spanish Club when I was 16.
It was eye-opening, but not life changing.
We were too sheltered by our chaperones, and very isolated in regards to interacting with the people of Mexico.

My answer?
If I could ENSURE one experience that I have had myself?
It would be that my children would first meet, and then marry, their best friend.
While I would be a liar if I said it is never difficult within my marriage, I would also be a liar if I said my marriage was nothing like I imagined it would be.
It is much more than I ever expected, and it brings me great joy.

I was raised in a home where my parent's divorced when I was 7.
Having dated little in high school, I truly believed that I would not marry early, if at all.
I dated 3 guys "seriously" in college.
One I broke up with because our relationship was primarily physical and did not hold promise for the future.
The other one married one of my best friends and truly broke my heart.
After such an emotional experience, I vowed I would focus solely on my schooling, and not seek any romantic relationships at all.
I even wrote myself an extensive note, detailing the importance of finding joy and happiness within myself and not depending on a "guy" for my self-worth.
It was actually a life-changing decision.

At the beginning of the next semester, I (re)met my sweetheart.
(We had met 2 years before at my cousin's Youth Conference, and I had loved joking with him then.)
I had no desire to get romantically involved with anyone, and it just so happened P had not gone on his mission yet, so I honestly didn't think twice about him as a romantic interest initially.
He ended up in my Book of Mormon Institute class, and made really insightful comments.
He was still incredibly easy to talk to, and fun to joke with.
He was strongly focused on preparing for his mission, so finding a "girlfriend" wasn't his focus either.
So we became friends.
Really good friends.
And we stayed really good friends for a really long time (in the college dating world!).
It was a great foundation for the love that developed and has continued to develop.

And honestly, it is the one thing I would choose for each of my children to experience:
Finding love within a strong friendship and choosing to have that friendship continue to grow eternally.

6 comments:

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Oh, me too, absolutely. If you're not happily married, that can ruin every other good thing in your life.

Pat said...

Maybe we could compromise and just have our kids meet their one and only best friend and future spouse in some foreign land. Preferrably NOT while they are on their missions.

Kor said...

Well said Kris,
You guys do have something very special. Thanks for being a great example.

SalGal said...

You know, that's something I would never have thought to pick. I still can't decide!

Katherine@Raising Five said...

I would have to agree, too. I married my best friend and it just gets better and better. Thanks for commenting on my blog - the only way I know who's reading. So nice to meet you here on yours! You have a beautiful family.

Sarah said...

I always told myself I would have an extensive "friend" relationship with the person I would marry so I was totally unprepared when I met Adam and less than a month later we were engaged. I thought love at first sight was the desperate people until I laid eyes on my hubby. There was no slowing that one down. But I agree that having that long friendship beforehand is such a wonderful chance to really feel out a relationship.

I can't think of what my one thing would be... it's a tough question. Probably I would just want my children all to recognize and value their testimonies. So many kids never do.