I Am Loved

My mom did an amazing job making me feel loved and important on Valentine’s Day every year.  It wasn’t expensive or time consuming, but she made it a priority to do SOMETHING special.  Heart shaped pancakes sometimes.  Other times a card.  One time a set of silver  heart shaped earrings.  Probably never all at once, and maybe not even every year.  Ultimately it doesn't matter what she did every year because she made the effort to let me know she not only loved me, but she liked me as well.  Not every child gets to feel that in their life, and I consider that constancy one of her most powerful and important gifts.  Because of her and the example she set for me, I am a mother who could build on that foundation and make a difference in my own children's lives.  I am loved, and because of that, I can love others more deeply.

Blessed to Chose Him

Allowing myself to be chosen. It’s a spiritual concept that is both simple and profound. God desires us to choose Him. His ways. His paths. His Son. And for so many years I felt like that was selfish on His end…like He needed me to worship Him for some unknown purpose.  It was a surprise to me to actually realize that all He wants to do is bless me, and my obedience ultimately blesses me, not Him. Although I have to consider if my obedience actually can move forth His plan and purposes…which would bless Him. 

I’ve been taught my whole life that God is bound to His promises when we do what He says. I love that.  He will never go back on His words or promises.  He is ever faithful.  And for that I’m so grateful! 

Filling My Cup

Book club fills my cup.  It’s been the majority of my adult life that I’ve been a part of a book club.  When I was first married, I attended sporadically.  Whether that was due to scheduling conflicts or non-interest in the books on my part, I’m not sure.  

Some of my favorite memories of people in Silver City are tied to the book club we had there.  It was there that I really discovered the joy of sharing intellectual conversation based on something we had collectively read.  

There were a few years here in San Tan Valley book club wasn’t even on my radar.  When a new neighbor mentioned she didn’t want to drive into Gilbert monthly anymore and asked if anyone would be interested in a local book club, I jumped in with both feet.  After sending texts out to 6 of my friends, we had created our book club.  

We’ve now existed for 7 years.  Our book choices have been greatly varied, and our conversations have been as well. I’ve read books I never would have chosen, really disliked some of them, and found others that have come to change my perspective wholly about things.  

Perhaps my favorite part of book club is having truly intellectual conversations with other women.  Delving into uncomfortable topics and truly listening to other people’s perspectives has stretched me as a person.  I’m a better person because of the people I have been blessed to associate with in book club.  

It’s a night each month that truly fills my cup.  

Not So Stealthy

Four young women and I delivered some cookies to someone tonight…supposedly in a stealthy way…but I’ll tell you right now, we weren’t even the tiniest bit sneaky.  Which is funny in it’s in own way…and we laughed and laughed about it.  We may have to try again just to perfect our skills.  

Are you stealthy?  If so, send tips our way.  :p

Confinement vs. Sacred Space

There was a time I would listen to my children fight in the car.  The fights were mostly trivial.  Over simple things.  Which seat they wanted, which window they deserved to be by, etc… 

I worked on seating charts.  Rotation schedules so the kids who fought the most with each other never sat near each other.  I played “fun” music.  I tried so many things. And nothing made a difference.  I truly felt that I was forced into a confinement of sorts every single time I went somewhere with my family.  

It was while we still lived in Silver City, NM (2004-2009) that I was taught to treat every minute in the car as sacred time.  I probably laughed out loud the first time I heard the suggestion.  There was nothing sacred in my mind about the time in my car as it was.  

It didn’t take me long to make some effort.  I think we started with the primary songs that my kids would be singing at the end of the year in the primary program.  We then worked on memorizing the Articles of Faith.  And then we started having different conversations than we had before.  The kids started listening and being influenced by what was going on in the car.  It felt like a literal miracle at that point in my mothering. 

Changing the time in the car with my kids from mere confinement to a purposely created sacred time and space has blessed every one of my children (whether or not they see it as such would depend on their memories of it), but for me, it added the spirit to my otherwise chaotic life in a way I couldn’t have predicted.  It made room in my own heart for my Savior.  

Doing it Anyway

 Some days, the words don’t come.  

And I write anyway.  

Discombobulated, unrelated, random. 

A commitment to myself is a serious thing.  

Something I won’t give up without a massive fight. 

So today, this is enough.  

And I pray, tomorrow, the words will come.  

Enduring

When you’ve been wholly focused on one task for over 24 hours, some funny things start to happen.  

Your brain stops focusing as easily, and you find that you’re sillier than you’d typically be.  

How do I know this?  I was recently asked to serve with the young women (ages 12-18) in our church congregation.  This weekend we’re reading The Book of Mormon (531 pages).  It’s been a challenge for us.  Not all of us have been present the whole time (raising my hand), but there have already been some apparent blessings from pushing to reach a goal that really takes some effort.  

*Unity.  Unity comes when you share an experience and get vulnerable with how you’re feeling.  I know I’ve seen girls sharing much more than meals and snacks as they have shared their time and energy reading toward this goal. 

*Peace. In a world that is chaotic and loud, I find that the moments when the girls have understood what they are reading, a peace has distilled on the entire group.  With about 30 of us, that’s significant.  

*Laughter.  We won’t forget the chapters read in accents, the chairs that have tipped over, the funny phrases and so much more.  There is a bond that is born is such silliness. It won’t be soon forgotten.

*Answers.  Immersing ourselves in a spirit filled environment has allowed specific verses stand out to me in ways that I know they are answers to my own questions and concerns.  I feel very, very grateful for those moments. 

Conversations.  Suffice it to say God puts the people we need in our lives.  Things people share or say, moments where tears have come to my eyes, these are the “things of the heart”.  I’m so grateful there are people who surround me that I can share those moments with.  

Any one of these things would be worth enduring for.  To have them all is far more than I anticipated.  Perhaps I can make it these last few hours. ;)

My Life’s Mantra

 I couldn’t tell you exactly when I added it to my email signature…(which led me down a LLOOOONNNNGGG rabbit hole).  I found it for the first time on an email dated 7-5-2012. Prior to that point my signature had read “Making the world a little brighter in our neck of the woods”, which was appropriate because we actually lived in the woods in New Mexico.  I think I was looking for something shorter and more succinct after our move to Arizona.  Something I could say easily and that I could teach my children to live.  

The result: Do Good. Be Kind. was added to the end of every email communication I sent out.  And it began to change me.  It made me stop and pause before I made a decision, a comment, a judgement.  And that pause often allowed time for a change in my attitude and perspective.  

My kids would all tell you it’s what I say most, but I hope they would also tell you that it’s what I live even more.  

That’s the purpose of a life’s mantra. 

Make Someone Smile

Today, I showed up. It wasn’t complicated and I didn’t spend all day thinking about how to do it. I was recently called to serve the young women in our church congregation, and 2 of them were in a play tonight.  It would have been so easy to skip it. My list of things to do is long, and there won’t be enough time tomorrow to get everything done. I put those things aside, because I truly believe that everyone needs to know that they have someone cheering them on.  Now, let’s be honest, both of these girls have amazing families that showed up for them too…and I sincerely doubt that they’ll remember I was there.  It doesn’t matter.  Their smiles and hugs as I told them “good job” were enough for me.  They’re doing an amazing job at navigating life…and any way that I can support them in their interests and successes, I’ll do.  So I’ll keep showing up.  And making people smile.  Can you do the same?