As I was walking my youngest into the nursery today, a friend made the comment that she hadn't heard anything in church today, due to her children being noisy during sacrament meeting.
That has been the story of my life for the past 11 years.
It's a well known fact that most of us tend to ignore until it is thrust upon us.
I saw young mothers walking the halls with the children for years before it ever dawned on me that once I had children that would become my fate.
I count my blessings right now that P can sit with me during sacrament meeting.
It means that I actually can catch snippets of spirituality.
It makes me laugh, (mostly because it's either that or cry) when people talk about how spiritual the talks were on a particular day.
It has literally been ages since I have heard an entire talk, and been allowed to have the "quiet" that allows the spirit to fill my heart.
So, in my pondering over this today, my question to myself is this....
Why do I still go?
Why would anyone subject themselves to an hour and a half long wrestling match on a weekly basis?
I certainly am not receiving the spiritual depth and variety that I desire from my meetings.
It's easy to say that I am going to set an example for my children, which I believe is true...
but ultimately, that's not what drives me to get ready each Sunday.
I really believe, after some degree of self-introspection today, that the reason why I go to church on a weekly basis is twofold:
1. It is pure and simply, a way that I can show obedience (although some may argue at the simplicity of taking 6 children to church).
2. It is one way I can show I am that I am willing to submit my will to the Lord's will. It is Neal A. Maxwell, a former Apostle who said "Brethren (and Sisters too!), as you submit your wills to God, you are giving Him the only thing you can actually give Him that is really yours to give. Don’t wait too long to find the altar or to begin to place the gift of your wills upon it!"(3 April 2004, Remember How Merciful the Lord Hath Been).
I know the importance of choosing to do the things that God has asked us to do...with a willing heart.
I also have recommitted myself to a more careful and focused personal study...as I realize how much I need that spiritual food.
I hope you can do the same.