My Family

My Family

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Date

Pat and I have been married for 14 years, and I must confess, we've only been consistently dating for half of those years.
It wasn't until Thomas was about a year old that I expressed how neglected I felt in our marriage.

It wasn't purposeful neglect, and I knew that, but it just so happened that if a child had needs that conflicted with our date, or if the budget was tight, or if we couldn't find a sitter, we would cancel the date without any apology to each other.
Worst of all, we wouldn't reschedule the date for another day.

Essentially, there were many months that passed where we never had many opportunities to really talk with each other as friends and sweethearts.
(Keep in mind that these were the years when we had 4 children 5 and under and then 5 children 6 and under.)

It was after that conversation (wherein I made known my need to have adult conversation and be treated as a peer for a period of time was crucial to my mental well-being) that we started going on regular dates.

There have been periods of time in the last 7 years where we have gone out on an almost weekly basis, and other times when we have felt the need to only go out once a month.
No matter how frequent the dates are, they always fill a need for me, and I am reminded why I chose my sweetheart as my partner for life.
It's amazing what just 3 hours can do for your relationship.
I'd suggest you try it soon, and be consistent about it.
I've been more than happy with the results.


Sarah said...

Good for you for voicing your needs to DH. I know a lot of women who fall into martyr-mode and put their kids before EVERYTHING then wonder why they hate their life so much.

kodiak73 said...

I will admit that I miss the year of built in weekly babysitters quite a bit... That is something that Jamie and I need to get back to doing more routinely.