I find that I keep thinking to myself, "When things return to normal, I'll...".
I've decided this week though, that there is no normal.
Although I long for and dream of the lack of chaos, the reality is, with 8 children, there will be very few minutes or hours without some sort of chaos or craziness.
There are days when I spend the majority of the day running errands, chauffeuring someone to and from lessons or doctors.
There are days when, as a "stay-at-home" mom, I'm not at home at all, sometimes successively.
There are days when I do 6 loads of laundry, followed by days when I do none.
There are days when I cook for an army and days when I tell my children to fend for themselves...the youngest paired with an older sibling who can help them find something (semi) healthy to eat.
Recently however, I've had a paradigm shift.
About a month ago, I had a doctor tell me point blank I had a cancerous growth on my breast.
I made a flurry of appointments and doctor visits and dealt with the emotional roller-coaster that accompanies such a statement.
Despite the logical fear, again, both Pat and I had that persistent, recurrent peace that comes from God.
As the weeks have passed by and the tests and varying opinions have been gathered, more and more results pointed toward no cancer.
While that has been reassuring, my attitude and demeanor have changed.
Today I waited over 1 1/2 hours in a doctor's office to be seen.
In the past I would have been more than highly irritated.
While I had a time I HAD to leave by, I was waiting relatively patiently...simply because I was glad to be there, not having to deal with more serious health challenges and concerns.
My heart has been softened to do more than JUST ENDURE the daily struggles that come from raising children, to LOOK FOR THE JOY in even the difficult moments.
If I can share some wisdom with you, it would be just that: Don't endure each day, enjoy it. Find the joy, actively seek the positive and build the relationships that are in your life. You won't regret a minute or an hour or a day that you spend that way.
For what it's worth.